Cutting the Line

To me, one of the cardinal sins of life is cutting the line. In grand terms, it tips the scales in favor of the individual versus society as a whole. It collapses the very foundation upon which civilization is built. It’s the real-life example of grabbing the proverbial conch shell and yelling to the masses, “I am the only one that matters.”

In simple terms, it’s just f***ing annoying.

So the other day I needed to go to Home Depot to have keys made. I was already feeling the wrath of allergies, hopped up on all sorts of meds to that end, and had no intention of making this a production. My first indication that it would not be thus was when I had to locate someone on my own (isn’t there supposed to be a friendly greeter guiding me to happy, helpful people?) and when I asked who could help me make keys he groaned and then growled, “yeah that’s me…I’ll be there in 5 minutes…” He was not with anyone and folding boxes but fine sir, you are clearly very busy and I will humbly and gratefully wait for your opening.

So we go through the process which was simple enough and then I look for self-checkout, which should empower me, the customer, to take destiny into my own hands. Nope, the guy there had ropes all around, no lights on and said, “you gotta go to the registers down there” pointing towards the dark void at the end of the store. When I arrived after the significant walk, the line was immense and everyone had those big pulling carts filled with tons of small pieces of wood and I knew this would be a while. But fine, I can clearly see said line, which is obvious to anyone with eyes, and I’ll simply wait my turn.

So there are two working cashiers with customers and then the line had formed down the aisle directly across. So there is that ambiguous chasm between the cashiers and the line where anything can happen if no one is guarding in defense of integrity, systems and justice…Don’t you know, some dude comes out of nowhere and gets behind one of the people at one of the registers. Have you no sense of the world around you???? Don’t you look behind you to see what’s going on???? Were you raised in a barn???? But fear not, I see our line leader say right away, “hey buddy, there’s a line!” And I figure, all will be fine with the world as clearly he’ll retreat when he sees FIFTEEN people in the queue of the rightuous.

Nope. This guy has the balls to say, “The line’s behind me buddy.”

WHAT?!?!?!??!?!?!

And the cashier takes him.

WHAT???????? Have you no eyes and ears??????

For those of you who know me, I’m not one to make a public scene (unless I’ve had a few bourbons in which case, get ready. Lucky for everyone there is no bar at Home Depot). But I was right there beating the drum cheering on our front man to chase justice. He kept going back to this jerk to battle for truth while the rest of us were representing as his soldiers, chanting for the guy to get to the back of the line. But the cashier and the guy finish the transaction like NOTHING HAPPENED!!!! Finally, management must have gotten a whiff because they assign some guy to be the line sorter so a riot doesn’t break out. I’m next up so greets me with a “Hi how are you tonight” and a big smile. Don’t you know the gravity of the situation??? I start telling him, listen there are people cutting the line and you all need to manage this system better. I figured maybe he just didn’t understand the stakes here. Do you not realize the fate of the world is crumbling when you allow these people to get away with this? But he didn’t seem to take this seriously and I had to get to my cashier. I also told her how diappointed I was in the system. Surprisingly, she too was unaffected.

Harsh reminder folks, some people are proud to be assholes. Luckily it seems the ratio is somewhere around 15:1. May you find the stregth to take on your own battles!!!